Because rules are meant to be re-written.
Truisms, Statutes, and Mandates
The following is a list of D.F.O. truisms, statues, and mandates that govern D.F.O. decision making, listed in alphabetical order. All of these rules may be adhered to, amended, or deleted at any given time. Because rules are rules (unless we need them to change).
Fitz'd = verb, as in "to Fitz;" to fix something with no actual knowledge of how to fix something properly or, especially, with the proper tools. Typically temporary and typically the item fixed is now worse than before. I.e., "Yeah, so I Fitz'd the gutters today, but I don't know..." Mastered by D.F.O. co-founder Ian.
Hazel = verb, as in "to Hazel;" to get out of something. I.e., "Boy, you really Hazel'd your way out of going to the play with your wife." Mastered by D.F.O. co-founder Auz.
One-and-Done Rule = Any player who was active as a 3.0 player for only one season will be ineligible for any and all D.F.O. awards. Let that be a lesson to you for being too good!
Septuagenarian Stipulation = Rules that apply throughout the D.F.O. do not apply to any one aged 70 or elder.
Six Month Rule = No ruling or result is final until six months have passed in order to allow all protests, challenges, or claims to be put to rest. Or ignored.
Ted = First among all 3.0 players, The Ted provides inspiration, motivation, and bagels for the entire West Coast of the D.F.O.
Travisional = noun, as in, "I'm not sure if that's in or out, so I'm going to take a Travisional until I know for sure." A Travisional is temporary, much like a provisional, in the sense that it's only valid for a while, but where a provisional is taken when the entire group is unsure and the provisional may not improve the takers situation, a Travisional is only taken when one believes taking said Travisional will improve their situation and no one else in the group believes it is necessary. Mastered by D.F.O. co-founder Travis.
Twelve Apostles = The current captains of the various local 3.0 teams who are called in to provide voting balance for Player of the Year and Hall of Fame voting, a number that may or may not add up to twelve depending on the year.
Vice-Champion = Technically second place or runner-up status, but just sounds way, way cooler.
Vice-Vice-Champion = Third place, but sounds far less cool than "3rd Place," so rarely used.
Yo-Yo'd = Moving up and down the tennis NTRP rating system, usually going from 3.0 to 3.5 ... and back again!
Comments